Santa Responds to Romero - Romero Plans Litigation
Posted on December 23, 2005
Stop The ACLU has obtained through an anonymous informant, that Santa Clause has responded to the ACLU’s request for their assistance. We have also received an advance copy of a press release expected to be announced by the ACLU sometime later this afternoon.
Mr. A. Romero
Executive Director,
American Civil Liberties Union
125 Broad Street
New York, NY 10004
December 23, 2005Dear Mr. Romero,
I regret to inform you that I cannot be of any assistance in your efforts. You see since your scepticism in the season runs deeper than a disbelief in me, it shows that your efforts are not viable to the traditions that I personally hold dear.
The wonder and mystery of Santa Clause is one grown of the mystery and wonder of Christ himself. It is with the spirit of giving stemming from the great Magi that my tradition stems. It is from the gift of God to the world that my purpose has grown. The reason for my being is to bring happiness to children of all nations. And this is a product of the traditions of Christianity.
And although I do not discriminate against those children of different faiths, it is still their true belief in me which allows my power to build upon the traditions of one of the world’s greatest faiths.
So in response to your request, I cannot in all consciousness assist an organization which neither believes in me nor Christ the Savior of the world. Should your personal beliefs or those of your organization change in the future, I would be happy to consider any requests made at that time.
Remember, I know when you are sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.
Best Regards,
Kris Kringle, Santa Clause,
Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, etc…
In response to this letter from Santa Clause, Anthony Romero will be releasing the following statement:
It is the belief of the American Civil Liberties Union that the character Santa Clause is in conspiracy with the President of the United States, Mr. George W. Bush, in spying on peaceful American organizations. We have recently obtained evidence that Mr. Clause is working in consort with the National Security Agency and the FBI in obtaining privileged information about American Citizens.
“I know when you are sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know when you’ve been bad or good…” This statement from Mr. Clause himself is a confession to the facts.
We intend on filing a federal lawsuit in the 9th Circuit this afternoon requesting that Mr. Clause, Mr. Bush, the NSA, and the FBI cease operations which invade the privacy of American citizens.
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4 Responses to “Santa Responds to Romero - Romero Plans Litigation”
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The Giants
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:jaw dropping: Shseesh, I never thought of the conspiratorial aspects of Santa. What to tell the kids when Santa is put on trial by the Ninth Circus?
Lumps of coal for the ACLU!
And don’t forget that Santa (without a WARRANT issued by a judge) surreptitiously enters private dwellings, often by the “chimney” in order to carry on his nefarious activities.
I’m picturing something more like this “http://www.matmice.com/home/theenemies/sc.jpg” for the aclu.